About 50 people from all over Watford came to
St Luke’s for the Big Parenting Questions event on 6th November.
Care for the Family were taking this new event for mums, dads and carers around the UK. Robin Vincent, Chief Executive of Care for the Family, and Cathy Madavan, a popular speaker and author of several books on raising children, were the speakers.
The event provided an opportunity for parents to get some tips on the challenge of raising teens, such as responding to requests like: ‘Can I have a phone?’, ‘Can I stay home on my own?’, ‘Can I have Snapchat?’. It also gave some help with questions such as ‘How do we know what’s best for them?’ and ‘How can we give them the freedom to grow without letting them wander into chaos?’.
These were some of the takeaway points:
1 Why is everything changing? Our teenagers are changing so as parents we need to be prepared to learn and adapt. As they change, our role changes – we are more coach than controller. We need to support them by listening and loving them unconditionally. We are still the most important influence in their lives.
2 How do I keep the connection? Be in their boat with them. Step into their world and become familiar with their crew, the new voices in their lives. Be the anchor – steady, reliable, dependable.
3 What can I do to protect them? Know your gates and fences. Where is your line to create secure boundaries, and where will you open the gate to be more flexible? Think together about how to behave online, make a Family Media Agreement and consider the family’s relationship with technology generally. We need to put safeguards in place but we also want to help them think for themselves and make wise choices.
4 Who are they becoming? Help them discover their future rather than dictating it for them. Help them to see a world beyond themselves and facilitate their engagement with it. Be the person you would like them to imitate!
More thoughts on these and other challenges can be found here: www.cff.org.uk/bpqbonus.
Susan Miller